Well, it is the new year. I have always looked forward to new years with a measure of optimism and hope....but this year, I just can no longer find that within me. Only for my health and financial situation, in all other matters, I have lots of hope and optimism.....but I am pretty sure this blog will not reflect that.
Today I was food shopping when I heard from the other isle, "Honey, that is not a necessary food, we can only get what is necessary now" The isle they were in was not candy, or sugary cereals, or soda (this store doesn't even have soda).....the isle they were in was the bulk beans and rice. The child was wanting black beans...yes, the more expensive variety, but none the less....should not be looked at as a luxury item. I happen to know this family, I know they are struggling...and it makes me sad. Both mom and dad work, and rather decent jobs. Just a few years ago, they would be considered middle class by Vermont standards....now, their basket had a few items that looked like maybe it was for a soup. The veggies came from the half price isle. This family, like so many others, make too much for assistance, but not enough to live on.
I came across a friend who I had not seen for awhile. He told me about how he was in trouble because his parent became ill. He makes very good money for Vermont standards, but his parent was elderly and the pension they were promised was pulled away from them, along with the life long health insurance program. They had only medicare, but it did not cover all of what this illness cost. His parent has moved out of their life long home in another state, to move to Vermont and live with their son. This is causing a huge burden on the son, who loves his parents, but looks like the stress has taken a toll.....sad.
Of course, I also was telling people my story. It is also sad....and one I am sure I have written about so does not need repeating. I just put my last bit of money that I had (and really could not afford to as it should have gone for other bills) into my heating oil tank. The $700 I paid out, only put in 1/2 a tank, and is not enough for the minimum delivery for the next fill (which does not fill it)...then I don't know what I am going to do......I could go into the details of why this is so hard, and how keeping my thermostat at 50 to try to make my oil stretch longer...thereby causing me increased illness...but hey, you have heard all that, I won't bore you.....but it sucks.
And then, as I was coming home, I overheard a man talking on his cell phone. He was telling whoever in a very sad and dejected voice, "I am too old to be this poor". I just wanted to cry. I know how he feels.
This is America. The supposedly richest country in the world. How did we get here? My mother, who has lived a fairly financially comfortable existence, is now for the first time in her life wondering where she will go if she can no longer afford the retirement place she lives....she is 91. She has outlived her savings. That is too old to be wondering what is going to happen to her. I feel so bad, I can't help her. I get stressed over that. I get stressed over my financial situation........the number one way to halt the progression of my disease......live with decreased stress in my life. HA HA.
What are we going to do people? I know, many people say "but for God's grace, there go I", and shake their heads and feel sorry for those of us who are in these situations. I do appreciate prayers, lots of prayers.....but something else needs to be done. I write my representatives, both local and in Washington, I beg with them to help people like me. I just heard that our new governor has said he is afraid he is going to piss off those who put him in office, as what needs to be cut are many of the services. How can this happen? What is the plan? Who cares? I think that last question has a double meaning. I am asking who will help us, because who will care enough to take care of those of us who are too sick, too weak, too down trodden to fight for ourselves. But then there is the other meaning....I am afraid it is the one that has more correctness to it....in who cares? No one cares, no one will do anything.....
I think so many people are on the fringe of losing what they have, that they can't even think about helping out those of us who have already lost it. Then there are those who are hiding amongst their money, so afraid that if anyone knows they have it, it will be taken away from them (I don't think I personally know anyone like this, but I can imagine they are out there).
If I had energy, I would think about starting communes again. Or at least some kind of intentional communities made up of those who can do things for one another. On the days I have energy, I use them to help other people. I know there are those out there who have this same feeling. They would like to do anything to help feel productive. I go across the street to my coop and do a little volunteer work. That is one thing I do. Unfortunatly, most of the time I do not feel good enough to be reliable. However, the workers there are wonderful, and they allow me to come and do what I can when i can. This is the way it should be.
I know there are other sickos like me who would give anything to feel productive again. To give back, to take care, to pay it forward. Although I would say overall 2010 sucked, I would also have to say that I have been blessed so much by people I hardly know and their extreme generosity. That will always go down as one of the best things that has ever happened to me. So 2010 was not so bad when I look at this aspect of the year. There are good people out there, and I am blessed to know at least 3 of them!!! (I know more than that, but I am talking about the most recent miracle of friendship and selflessness). I only hope that I can pay this forward.
So, I am saddened. I want to do something. Please help me. Help me think of how I can support a society of people who are struggling. Good people. People who just had the misfortune of getting sick. Or, of having a large family they once upon a time could feed easily. Or of finding out that the place they worked all their life, and felt a loyalty to...has suddenly turned on them. This is happening all over.
So, I would like to suggest that you put aside those video games you got for Christmas, or reduce the amount of lattes and expensive coffee drinks you buy at those large chains....and put aside something for those who think that MacDonalds is now considered fine dining. Use your energy to dream. Dream of places and ways to help all of us who are in this boat. Write your Congress people and let them know you want the people of this country to be taken care of. (Don't forget the animals, they deserve our help too). Do something....please, just do something.
Thank you....
Showing posts with label poverty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poverty. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Monday, July 26, 2010
Have's vs the Have Nots, which is which and who is who?
Well my friends, I hope this finds you happy, healthy and wise. Oh ok, at least one of them. I should probably put wealthy in there too! I am at least two of those, I will let you choose. LOL
Not much really happening that made me want to rush here and write about, so today, it may just be a rambling bunch of words, thoughts, and ideas. Which could either be interesting, or boring...lets hope for that first one.
Well, I made it though yet another dental crisis. My father had the same issues. His teeth were great, no problems, no cavities...then bam.....they started falling apart. So, I guess once again, whilst swimming through that gene pool, I scooped a heapin helpin of teeth set to fall apart after age 50. But my friends, here is the really cool things.....dentists just ain't what they used to be! I just had a tooth almost rebuilt from nothing, as half my real tooth fell out, the other half was an old filling. But, there she was (very nice new, very young dentist) creating a new tooth for me. I am sure in the "olden days", that would have been a pull or a crown. So, I am very thankful for all the new fangled dental mojo. Of course, she did say that it is possible this won't work, and I will end up needing a crown......well, yes, which means that it would be nice if I were a "have" in this world, but since I believe I am now an official "have not".....no crowns for me! So, lets hope the newly created tooth, does it's thang! I had to cancel my second cleaning of the year, as I just used up all my benefits for dental.
Speaking of the "haves" and "have nots", I am totally obsessed with Anais Mitchell's new CD "Hadestown". It is based on the myth of Orpheus, Eurydice, Persephone and the crew. It is about poverty, and selling one's soul to get what they have, and keep what they have got. The most powerful song (in my opinion, but it is my blog, so of course it is my opinion), is "Why We Build the Wall". If there is ever a song that has reached me on a primal level about poverty and the "haves and have nots" it is this song! It also speaks to us about what this new world we live in, full of fear has done to us! I would suggest you go to Youtube and try to find this song, just give it a listen, and see if you are as affected by it as I am. I saw Anais sing this live, at a benefit concert (she lives locally, but sings globally now, as Ani DiFranco discovered her), and I can't remember the last time a song effected me so greatly. All my little hairs were standing up to attention on my arms, and I actually started shivering, and had tears in my eyes! This CD has Greg Brown sing as Hades, and his voice is Tom Waits- like, so it is pretty powerful.
On another subject, I once again found myself in a discussion about Spirituality last night, in a chat type situation. I would not suggest trying to have a serious deep conversation by chat...LOL It is kind of hard. It made me realize that what I have been trying to say all along, is that I just don't make reference to Bible verses, but I believe I still say basically the same thing. It is, to me, like I didn't go to formal school and read all the reference books, I just observed what is around me. So, I think I will say that I come from the school of hard knocks, as far as my spirituality goes. Does that mean I am less "spiritual" than those who read the Bible and can quote passages? I don't think so. Part of what made me think this, is when I was in a discussion about the person who sent me the email, about the prayer that ended up heading another direction. The person I was "chatting" with, is a friend of the person who sent that email, and was instructing me (and the other's there) that her spirituality is "right on". To which I fully agree. But, because she can quote from the Bible, does that mean she is any closer to God than I am? (disclaimer here, the man I was talking with was not inferring that, it just got me thinking) I believe there are many out there who would agree. Well, I have known some people who are not therapists, but who are much better listeners than many therapists I know. They have this natural, innate ability to guide someone through their inner pain. Does that mean that they are "less than" those that have gone to school to learn the lingo? I don't think so. It does mean that person is not allowed to go out and call her/himself a psychotherapist (maybe a life coach). Well, I am not going out there and telling anyone that I am a Spiritual leader, I am not saying I am a minister.....but, I am saying that I think that somehow, I have learned from the world around me....that Spirit lives within me. Is that a better explanation? (I will admit here, I have part of my mind on what I am writing, and the other is listening to the "Hadestown" CD! LOL Right now Ani DiFranco is singing...such a voice she has!!!
And, just to make you dear reader feel like you are on some kind of thrill ride, here is a change of subject that is totally random (maybe, kind of like the house of mirrors, you just don't know now do you?)....tomorrow, my lil shih tzu gets professionally groomed for the first time in her almost 14 years of life!!! I am so excited for how cute, snuggly, soft and good smelling she will be. I just can no longer do it myself. Just another thing that has left my tool box of things I could do for myself. I can not afford this, but I know how miserable she seems to be. Her hair feels like mine after 2 weeks of not washing it (yes, I do know how this feels, unfortunatly just recently when I was so sick, I couldn't get the energy up to wash my hair). So, things to look forward to....
There we are. Things are scaled down in my life. I am feeling like this is one of the biggest splurges I could ever do. I am excited to do this for her, and me. How many people in this life take this kind of thing for granted. It is more a chore, a task to click off on their "to do list". It is a have/ have not kind of thing. So, while poverty sucks, don't get me wrong....I do think it has taught me to appreciate little things, like a clean, good smelling dog. I also know, that I take clean running water coming out of a tap for granted, and there are plenty out there who have to walk 3 hours one way, each day to get questionable drinking water. So, in that case, I am a Have.
I have gone from being a quite Having Have, and here I am now, being a kind of fringe Have Not. Being a Have was easier! But, did I take the time to truly appreciate every little thing? NO! There is something in this life to a kind of "struggle". I know back in the mid 80's I was working/directing a non-profit. Those of us who were working for a similar cause all came together and worked with one another to get the word out, and to beg for money (as that is basically what non-profit admin does). I moved away for awhile. I returned and found an interesting thing had happened in my abscence. All the work we had been doing paid off. Literally, as there was now a large pot of money to draw from for this cause. What I noticed however, was there was no longer a sense of working together, What I found more than ever, was everyone trying to get a bigger piece of the pie than the next one. WTF? Where was the working together? Where was the solidarity in the struggle? Hmm, it seems they sold their souls to ummmm Hades? They built a wall, all around themselves to protect what they had, and to keep out the have nots. It was such an illusion however. From outside that wall, it was pretty easy to see what was happening, but those inside the wall were lured to think that if they kept working hard to protect what they had, to keep out those who needed....well, I think they kind of lost all sight of what we were trying to do in the first place. Sad really.
Maybe I should from time to time, just check in to see what life is giving me. Am I using my gifts that have been provided to help others, and assist those who have less than me? Or, am I using everything I have to keep those out? To hold onto what I have, because it seems meager. I don't know, I would like to think that I fall into the category of those who continue to see and use my gifts, and not wall them away so other's can't get to them.....but, I know that when you are in that wall, it is hard to see outside. I think this may also be reflected in the spiritual wall that could be built by those who "have" and those perceived as "have nots".
But, today I have a new tooth, tomorrow I will have a cuddly dog....maybe life is good? So, out of the qualities I was hoping for you today, health, wealth, happiness and wisdom which do you have, and which is important to you? Which do I have? Choose carefully, and and watch out for Hades!
Not much really happening that made me want to rush here and write about, so today, it may just be a rambling bunch of words, thoughts, and ideas. Which could either be interesting, or boring...lets hope for that first one.
Well, I made it though yet another dental crisis. My father had the same issues. His teeth were great, no problems, no cavities...then bam.....they started falling apart. So, I guess once again, whilst swimming through that gene pool, I scooped a heapin helpin of teeth set to fall apart after age 50. But my friends, here is the really cool things.....dentists just ain't what they used to be! I just had a tooth almost rebuilt from nothing, as half my real tooth fell out, the other half was an old filling. But, there she was (very nice new, very young dentist) creating a new tooth for me. I am sure in the "olden days", that would have been a pull or a crown. So, I am very thankful for all the new fangled dental mojo. Of course, she did say that it is possible this won't work, and I will end up needing a crown......well, yes, which means that it would be nice if I were a "have" in this world, but since I believe I am now an official "have not".....no crowns for me! So, lets hope the newly created tooth, does it's thang! I had to cancel my second cleaning of the year, as I just used up all my benefits for dental.
Speaking of the "haves" and "have nots", I am totally obsessed with Anais Mitchell's new CD "Hadestown". It is based on the myth of Orpheus, Eurydice, Persephone and the crew. It is about poverty, and selling one's soul to get what they have, and keep what they have got. The most powerful song (in my opinion, but it is my blog, so of course it is my opinion), is "Why We Build the Wall". If there is ever a song that has reached me on a primal level about poverty and the "haves and have nots" it is this song! It also speaks to us about what this new world we live in, full of fear has done to us! I would suggest you go to Youtube and try to find this song, just give it a listen, and see if you are as affected by it as I am. I saw Anais sing this live, at a benefit concert (she lives locally, but sings globally now, as Ani DiFranco discovered her), and I can't remember the last time a song effected me so greatly. All my little hairs were standing up to attention on my arms, and I actually started shivering, and had tears in my eyes! This CD has Greg Brown sing as Hades, and his voice is Tom Waits- like, so it is pretty powerful.
On another subject, I once again found myself in a discussion about Spirituality last night, in a chat type situation. I would not suggest trying to have a serious deep conversation by chat...LOL It is kind of hard. It made me realize that what I have been trying to say all along, is that I just don't make reference to Bible verses, but I believe I still say basically the same thing. It is, to me, like I didn't go to formal school and read all the reference books, I just observed what is around me. So, I think I will say that I come from the school of hard knocks, as far as my spirituality goes. Does that mean I am less "spiritual" than those who read the Bible and can quote passages? I don't think so. Part of what made me think this, is when I was in a discussion about the person who sent me the email, about the prayer that ended up heading another direction. The person I was "chatting" with, is a friend of the person who sent that email, and was instructing me (and the other's there) that her spirituality is "right on". To which I fully agree. But, because she can quote from the Bible, does that mean she is any closer to God than I am? (disclaimer here, the man I was talking with was not inferring that, it just got me thinking) I believe there are many out there who would agree. Well, I have known some people who are not therapists, but who are much better listeners than many therapists I know. They have this natural, innate ability to guide someone through their inner pain. Does that mean that they are "less than" those that have gone to school to learn the lingo? I don't think so. It does mean that person is not allowed to go out and call her/himself a psychotherapist (maybe a life coach). Well, I am not going out there and telling anyone that I am a Spiritual leader, I am not saying I am a minister.....but, I am saying that I think that somehow, I have learned from the world around me....that Spirit lives within me. Is that a better explanation? (I will admit here, I have part of my mind on what I am writing, and the other is listening to the "Hadestown" CD! LOL Right now Ani DiFranco is singing...such a voice she has!!!
And, just to make you dear reader feel like you are on some kind of thrill ride, here is a change of subject that is totally random (maybe, kind of like the house of mirrors, you just don't know now do you?)....tomorrow, my lil shih tzu gets professionally groomed for the first time in her almost 14 years of life!!! I am so excited for how cute, snuggly, soft and good smelling she will be. I just can no longer do it myself. Just another thing that has left my tool box of things I could do for myself. I can not afford this, but I know how miserable she seems to be. Her hair feels like mine after 2 weeks of not washing it (yes, I do know how this feels, unfortunatly just recently when I was so sick, I couldn't get the energy up to wash my hair). So, things to look forward to....
There we are. Things are scaled down in my life. I am feeling like this is one of the biggest splurges I could ever do. I am excited to do this for her, and me. How many people in this life take this kind of thing for granted. It is more a chore, a task to click off on their "to do list". It is a have/ have not kind of thing. So, while poverty sucks, don't get me wrong....I do think it has taught me to appreciate little things, like a clean, good smelling dog. I also know, that I take clean running water coming out of a tap for granted, and there are plenty out there who have to walk 3 hours one way, each day to get questionable drinking water. So, in that case, I am a Have.
I have gone from being a quite Having Have, and here I am now, being a kind of fringe Have Not. Being a Have was easier! But, did I take the time to truly appreciate every little thing? NO! There is something in this life to a kind of "struggle". I know back in the mid 80's I was working/directing a non-profit. Those of us who were working for a similar cause all came together and worked with one another to get the word out, and to beg for money (as that is basically what non-profit admin does). I moved away for awhile. I returned and found an interesting thing had happened in my abscence. All the work we had been doing paid off. Literally, as there was now a large pot of money to draw from for this cause. What I noticed however, was there was no longer a sense of working together, What I found more than ever, was everyone trying to get a bigger piece of the pie than the next one. WTF? Where was the working together? Where was the solidarity in the struggle? Hmm, it seems they sold their souls to ummmm Hades? They built a wall, all around themselves to protect what they had, and to keep out the have nots. It was such an illusion however. From outside that wall, it was pretty easy to see what was happening, but those inside the wall were lured to think that if they kept working hard to protect what they had, to keep out those who needed....well, I think they kind of lost all sight of what we were trying to do in the first place. Sad really.
Maybe I should from time to time, just check in to see what life is giving me. Am I using my gifts that have been provided to help others, and assist those who have less than me? Or, am I using everything I have to keep those out? To hold onto what I have, because it seems meager. I don't know, I would like to think that I fall into the category of those who continue to see and use my gifts, and not wall them away so other's can't get to them.....but, I know that when you are in that wall, it is hard to see outside. I think this may also be reflected in the spiritual wall that could be built by those who "have" and those perceived as "have nots".
But, today I have a new tooth, tomorrow I will have a cuddly dog....maybe life is good? So, out of the qualities I was hoping for you today, health, wealth, happiness and wisdom which do you have, and which is important to you? Which do I have? Choose carefully, and and watch out for Hades!
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