I just had a most unpleasant experience, although it didn't directly involve me. As most of you know, I am a faithful follower of a family of barn owls in San Marcos, CA. This is a web cam, and on the side of the cam window is a chat. I love this place, as I watch the owls which are at times very amusing, always entertaining, and educational. I have met some wonderful people in the chat, some I know will be lifelong friends. These people come from all over the world, there are millions watching, and quite a few that chat. Usually, the chat is fun, funny, informational, and for me very supportive. There are a few rules we are asked to follow in chat, one being no caps, as that is considered yelling.
Well, here in lies the rub. I know, from being on other sites where people with disabilities frequent, that using caps is acceptable for the visually impaired. Tonight, a person (we don't know if people are male or female if their screen names do not imply, so I am just going to say she) came on, saying she was new, was visually impaired and wanted to know if she could use caps. Let me also explain here....there are people we call mods who are the people who make sure that people are following the rules. They regulate and sometimes "police" the chat room to make sure that it remains "g" rated, and friendly etc. Then there are the MODS, who are the chatters, named MOD for Molly Obsessive Disorder. Ok.....
So this person asks if using caps are ok, and a few of the MODS or chatters answered with: This person is lying, and is an attention seeking troll, as if they could not see, why would they be in a chat room. or if you can't see, why do you need to cap only yours, that does not make sense, you should know what you are typing. or and this one really got to me....."we are not a regular chat, we are family, and if is a choice to be here" OMG!!!!!
First, just basically....these MODS who responded in that way have no say over the rules in the chat room anyway....it is between the mods and the person who posted the simple question.....that being said:
I am sooooooo upset. This is just another example of how people with disabilites are treated every day. I am upset with myself too, as I just basically said that those comments made me sad, and upset, and should not have been made.....but then I left. I just felt like if i stayed in there, I would end up getting kicked out. I know I would have started a chat war, and I don't want to do that. I did go to Molly's site on FB and write about it there. And I am writing here. Why are people so insensitive? Why can they not see that what they are basically saying is: we don't accept you, because you are different. Where is the love people? where is the love?
I know, I am more sensitive to this because of what I face everyday. I actually had someone tell me that I didn't look like I needed my disabled parking plaquard. I got out of my car, the person looked at the plaquard and then me, and said..."Are you using someone elses car? I answered no. Then he said..."well, then you must know someone with a disability". Yes, I tried to explain it to him, but he just shook his head and walked away. I already wrote about the pharmacist.
I go onto the owl web site, because it is a great distraction from my pain. I love watching the owls and chatting to people all over the world. It takes my mind off of my life, my pain, and helps me laugh and feel good. Should not people who have visual problems be afforded the same benefits? Just because someone, somewhere, decided that all caps in a chat room means yelling.
Once again, I am not writing something that is a wonderful piece of literature, it is just a rant. But, I hope that you read this, then go out and take this rant into the world. Do something that helps people become aware of the world from someone with a disabilites view. The world is hard enough to get through. Compassion. We need so much more of this. Is it possible to teach it?
I wonder if those chatters realized what they were saying, or if they are sitting there smuggly thinking that they smashed another troll. HOw can anyone be so judgemental? My heart is hurting....are there any pain killers for that?
I just want to add that I found out that the person who asked about using caps was 85 years old. Now, do you suppose that person knows that caps mean yelling? Maybe, but I think this not only is about disabilities, but also ageism. It was also so strange to me that it wasn't just one person who responded to this person in the negative,judgemental way....but a number of chatters. I just don't get it? Group think? I didn't stay on long enough to see if the "love" I was trying to spread caught on, or if the negativity won over.....but, I am hoping that it was the love, the tolerance, the trying to learn about a person before judging them.
ReplyDeleteI am no Pollyanna. I have my faults. But, I would like to think that in this world, people would try to learn compassion and love from one another. The spreading of meanness, rude comments, insensitive, judgemental, hate....it just isn't attractive. Oddly, I just read my horoscope for today...it said I was going to use my syllables in a way that many feared to do!!! Guess the universe got that one right....but then isn't that what the universe is all about...love? compassion? kindness? I think so, what do you think?
Mary, I was watching when that whole nasty business came down. It was shameful what chatters said to that poor woman. But I want you know to, that the mods did step in to help her. They helped her to adjust her screen through internet options, to enlarge the text size so that she could participate in the chat. As to those who attacked her with such vicious comments, I can say only one thing: Shame on you all!
ReplyDeleteYes! Anonymous is right - shame. And great that someone helped her.
ReplyDeleteThanks anon. I went back on today, just long enough to find out it I had been banned. But, the mod I talked with had not heard anything about it, so I guessed that was a good thing. I am so happy they helped her. I am sure the chatters that were so rude will never see this blog, but I just hope that by putting this little thought out into the universe, it will cause a little bit of awareness to go forth and spread....LOL
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