My Big Grey Cat With Green Eyes, I love you.

Today I took my beautiful cat, Indigo to the vet to have him put down. So, tonight, although I am more tired than I should be to try and write this, I want to pay this cat, a little tribute.


I was living in North Georgia, when I came across a flyer advertising kittens. I wasn't really thinking about getting a kitten, but the flyer was so catching. I called the number and went to the house. OMG. They had something like 8 female cats, all deliver about 10 kittens each at relatively the same time!! I had never seen so many kittens in one place, all just running around. It doesn't make for easy choosing, but I ended up with 2, Indigo and his sister a little calico I named Kahlo. (named after women artists, the Indigo Girls, and Frieda Kahlo).

I brought them home to my little cabin out in the woods, and realized that Indigo was not the sharpest cat I have ever had. He used to climb the walls of the log cabin, get up under the ceiling and then could not get down. I had to get the ladder out, and rescue him. This happened at least 3 or 4 times a day! Once they were able to go outside (all shots and fixed), they discovered that they could climb a tree off my deck that led to the roof.....where I would have to go get them at least...you got it....3 or 4 times a day. Oh would I get mad. Inside was one thing, but this tree/tin roof thing..well...that was a little different. Yes, it was like a cat on a hot tin roof, and it wasn't like a cat on a hot tin roof...it WAS a cat on a hot tin roof. I would have to go get him, because his little paw pads would get burned up there.

One day, it was cool and overcast. I decided to see if he could come down on his own. I left him up there for 2 days. I put some water up there for him, but I figured he would come down when he got hungry...nope not him. He would stick his tiny little head over the end of the roof and meow at me with lots of angst. So, I crawled up there and rescued him once again.....this went on for months.

The other fun little game we played, was how many times a day we can step on the kitten. This poor little guy, at the time had grey eyes, grey fur, on a grey carpet in a cabin with poor lighting....luckily he never got hurt, but I would get major scratches on my legs.

What saved this little dear one, was his purr and his love. This little kitten was pure needy love. He would come over to me, to anyone...and want to show his love. He would purr and rub his head all over me. He would then settle in for a nap in my lap. I would sit for hours, reading with my little "man" (the only one in the house). He was a lover boy.

The next adventure that we had together was my move back to Vermont. I had a pick-up with a cap, and he and his sister made that their home for about 2 weeks. The place where I was staying had dogs and other cats, and they were afraid for my cat's safety. After two weeks, I had to get them out of that pick-up. I was driving up the road one day (way back in the boonies) and found an abandoned shack. My friends knew who owned it, so we got permission to keep the cats there. I would go up every day, bring the dogs (my dogs) and visit them, feed them and such. Everyday, Indigo would meet me sitting on the door step like he was waiting. (which I am sure he was). One day, his sister didn't show up. I found out that she had decided to adopt another family, as she was not a camping kind of cat....or a much smarter kind of cat. However, Indigo stayed in the shack, (which was kind of amazing, as there was no way I could block it off to predators, I just prayed a lot!!!) I don't remember how long my poor cat stayed in the boonie Hilton, but too long for sure.

I finally found a place for all of us to land, and there we stayed for 2 years. This however, was inside and with another person who loved cats....had 4 of her own. Indigo could go no further than 2 adjoining rooms in the house. However, I believe after the camping experience, this didn't bother him too much. He was becoming quite the meatloaf cat, as he couldn't really exercise much. I think at his most, he weighed around 22 pounds.

Next we moved here, to the house I bought. It was perfect for him. He (and my dogs) could let themselves in and out on their own. Indigo, I think because he was raised around dogs, was much more "dog-like" than feline. When I came home from work at night, he would run to meet me just like the dogs. He was never picky in what he ate, if it was in his bowl, he would eat it. Sometimes when the dogs would bark at things, he would look at me with a funny look on his face, and meow at the top of his little kitty cat lungs....I think the funny look was he never quite figured out why he was doing this.

Once, and I mean once....he caught a mouse. Now, this is an old farmhouse....so, this is not for lack of having all the hunting material he could possibly ever want.....he just didn't want. I used to joke that the mouse was a kamikazi...and jumped right into his mouth. That was a big day around the sub-dude ranch.....so named for him. (not a typo, it is a play on words that I used to use as my answering machine message). He was one big, subdued hombre.

So, we lived quite happily for the next 11 years or so. I noticed that his eye was runny, but he seemed fine in all other aspects of cat health. Then he started sneezing and coughing. But the scary thing, was his, in- the- middle- of- sleep- yowls. I thought he was dreaming. But, now his nose was running. Again, he did not seem sick, but about 2 weeks ago I took him to the vet. She found a lump on his gum, but thought maybe it was an abscess, and gave him an injection of anti-biotics. She told me if that didn't work, and if the lump did not shrink or the other symptoms clear, then it was most likely cancer, and warned that there was not anything that could be done for that.

The day after I brought him home, he became obsessed with being on me. As I stated, he was a very loving cat, and always wanted to sit in laps getting petted, but this was different. If I went to the bathroom, he was jumping up on my lap. When I was in the kitchen, he would reach up and put his paws...ummmm claws....into my leg and try to just hang there. I spent the entire day giving into his needs. We slept on the couch together all day long...and night. He would look deeply into my eyes, and I could feel that he was giving me a message. The next morning when I went to feed everyone, he was no where to be found. This was extremely odd. I looked everywhere, and called out for him...but he was not there. A day and a half later, he showed up at dinner time. I put some food into his dish, which he normally gobbled down like the dogs, but he just kind of licked it. He used to always come to me when I called him, and where ever I would pat my hand, he would lay down in that spot; but now, he would just lay on the back of the couch, close to my head, and sleep. I would invite him onto my lap, but he would just look at me in the eyes for a few seconds, then turn his head away. (He was my heating pad for my sore thighs and knees, he always would lay there if I would pat those areas, and purr and keep them warm for me).

A week went by (I think). He would eat a little, but would still not engage with me. Then yesterday, suddenly he started wheezing. Not only that, but it sounded very "wet". Also, his whole face looked misshapen. His nose was kind of pushed over to the side. I decided this was it. I called the vets office and made an appointment. I called a friend and asked him if he could come dig a grave for him in my yard. And at around 3pm on 9/9/10 my beautiful grey cat with big green eyes crossed over the rainbow bridge.

The vet's office was very good about how they set up the room, and about giving me time to be with him. We positioned him in his favorite sleeping pose, all curled up with his paw over his eyes, and wrapped him in muslin. I then put him in a pretty purple cotton pillow case, and brought him home and buried him.

But, the story doesn't end there, because if you know me, you know there is a coincidence...a spiritual show if you will.

Last night, a friend who came over to say good bye to him, questioned me about doing this as she thought it wasn't time. Of course, that put all sorts of doubt into me. The vet tech who gave him the injections looked him over after the first injection that calmed him, and said she was sure it was time. I won't bore you with all the reasons why, but it did make sense to me....but there is always that doubt. As he was laying on the table (which they had draped with fleece so it wasn't a cold sterile exam table (nice touch I thought), they left me alone with him for around 5 minutes before they came in with the final injection. Of course, I used that time to shed many tears, pet him, and hold him, and tell him how much I loved him. (which I had been doing for the past week too). I also called in my spirit guides and helpers to assist him with his transition. I told him who I thought would be coming for him, and to look for them.

On my way home, I decided to take the back road, as it is beautiful and less traffic. I was still crying. On the radio was jazz ballads which were very soothing. I asked the guides to give me a little sign if he was with them. I was listening to a song that sounded familiar, and though to myself "Isn't there a song that has the word Indigo in it?" I thought about putting in a CD of the Indigo Girls (his name sake) but that just didn't feel right. The announcer came back on air and said that the song he had been playing was "Misty", he then said "and now I have a beautiful rendition for you of a song played by Thelonius Monk, it is "Mood Indigo".

I knew, they were with my cat. He was safe and being greeted on the Rainbow Bridge.... they told me so. Until then, I had been crying. When I heard that, I kind of gasped, almost ran off the road...but then smiled. He was ok.

Some people say after they put down a pet, they see them. That hasn't happened to me with Indigo. But, all day today, I have heard him. I hear him purring, which he continued to do up until the very last seconds of his life on this Earth, in that beautiful, soft and silky kitty cat body.

So, rest in peace Indigo, our fourteen years together were good. I and your dog buddies will miss you, and we loved you very very much, but I am very happy for you......Happy First Day in Heaven Mr!

With thanks and gratitude to Amy at ORAH, and those that helped him transition.....you all know who you are.