Creativity by moon light...

One of the issues about me you will learn, I don't sleep. Well, not in the --get 8 hours at some agreed upon time -- kind of sleep. I can't remember when sleep was ever something that came easily to me. Now, because of being in pain, sleep is even more of a strange bed fellow..pun intended!

I am not sure what it is about 4am, but that seems to be the universal time that pain and suffering descends upon myself, and I believe many others. I was recently in the hospital, and every one of the all together 8 nights I was there, 4am would be a time for hot packs, and pain killers. Why is that? Is there some kind of portal that opens, and allows all the suffering enter the Earth plane, so it can tiptoe unbidden to it's weary victims. It tiptoes in, then does the slam dance like a tweeking mosh pit groupie, into every freaking cell in my body.

So, last night, I am chatting with my owltlaw (not a typo) friends (beautiful people who have all found one another because of 2 owls and the camera/chat that followed their escapades), and suddenly, I felt sleeeepy, very sleeeepy. I actually turned off my computer, and turned off the TV, and turned off the light, and.....woke right up! CRAP. But, this time something was different. I reached for a new book I am reading, but that just didn't feel right either. I was confused. It was like a distant little voice deep inside was trying to get my attention.

At first, I felt kind of listless. I thought maybe I was hungry, but nothing sounded good. I had right next to me, my usual bottle of water mixed with vitamin water so I was not thirsty. But this was a need, a need that felt familiar, but also like something that was long lost; it was a primal need. Did I want to scream? I decided to sit with it and see if through meditation, I could allow whatever it was to come forward into my consciousness. And there it was.....

I wanted -- no needed, to use art materials. It had been awhile. I had picked them up from time to time thinking that I should experiment, or create something. This however was insisting. I was so wide awake, I was buzzing. I felt an aura around me, a creative energy buzz that was slightly uncomfortable, but oooooh so joy producing. And, it also came with a partial vision. Not so much of an image, but of a kinestetic memory, a final idea of what materials I was going to find, and use. Wow, some door just opened, and I walked through.


The image is a close up of the art work, that I produced. It is a technique called yarn painting. I have never tried it before, so what you see is an experiment of sorts. It really doesn't matter though, what it looks like. It was the process, more than the content that was so exciting for me. I did it! After literally, a couple of years of not doing anything more creative than throwing pickled ginger into the beans I was cooking, I used some art materials.

I am happy. Did it help with the pain? Not really, I wish I could say it did. But, does the fact that I did this mean that maybe I am feeling a little better? Well, that I am banking on!