OMG literally!

There is magic afoot! Something is currently going on with me, that is causing lots and lots of tears. I haven't cried this much in years, or maybe ever. The thing is, it is not all painful, sad tears, or even happy tears.....these are deeper, much deeper, like I am weeping out some universal spiritual substance.

I won't mention names, although if you are reading this, those of you who I am about to write about, you will know it is you.....but there has been some "miracles" going on in my life lately, and I think it is about time I write this down. I think with some of this mind, mood, body, spirit alteration comes pain. Maybe that is what some, most, all? my pain has been about lately. It is kind of back to the liver theory, of a couple of blogs prior to this. I know that I am deeply spiritually connected to this cosmos. I am not going to give any kind of label to what this believe system is, because to me it is not a belief. I think for it to be a belief, I would have had to be taught it. I think this just comes into me. For years, and years and years, I can't really even begin to tell you how long....childhood I know....I have said this prayer....."Please come through me, so others can know you as I do". Ok there it is, a simple, yet complex childhood prayer.

I want to start this by saying that, when i was little, somehow I figured out that hypocrisy was a component of the human condition that bothered me. I remember writing a little book and making drawings in it, called the "Religion of the Animals" (or some childhood version of that statement). Unfortunately, my parents were not ones to save any of my childhood art work. But, I remember clearly sitting in my closet (a place I sat a lot), and making this book. I knew that our dog at the time a big black lab called Congo, was closer to God, than any human being I knew. I also remember watching birds and bugs, and the wonderment of all that was outside, and seeing that they were not anything but "there". I felt a peace with these creatures, that humans just didn't do for me.

I also want to introduce you to someone that has been in my life since I can remember. She came to me at night, she mostly came to me in my closet....it was my Blue Angel. She was beautiful, and she would let me sit in her lap. I had a few other "imaginary friends" and I would talk about them...Tommy in particular, but the Blue Angel was all mine, I didn't share her with anyone. I now have a tattoo on my ankle of her, but the strange thing is, when I got that tattoo, i didn't really even remember her, well on that night, as friend and I decided to get tattoos.....but there she was, coming back to me, reminding me she had never left, and will never leave me again...literally!

Ok, what is bringing this on......well, over the past couple of months some interesting things have happened to me. Some of you will read this and decide that I am nuts....that is ok. Some may read this and think..oh oh, airy fairy new age, woo woo stuff.....ok, so be it. But, I really hope you will read this and think about the possibilities, that exist in all of us. I am not going to say this is one religion or one way of thinking, so instead of calling this anything that comes from any religion, I am just going to say Spirit...ok? You can put in what ever you would like, and I think it will still work....if you put Jesus or Christ, if you want to say God, or Buddha, or Ganish, Allah.....whatever, I think it will work...

For quite some time, I have known that I have been able to be intuitive, psychic, a trance channel, mystic....what ever you want to put in there too. I have been connected to Spirit. I think this is because I have not only learned to speak with Spirit in prayer, but to listen in meditation. And, along the way, I have recognized that Spirit speaks to me in any number of different ways. Feelings, visions, signs, little coincidences, and when I needed it, a swift kick or knock upside the head!

Just today, a most marvelous thing happened. I got an e-mail from someone who I have recently met on line (meaning of course, we have not met face to face). She sent something that she was hesitant to send because as she put it "I really do not know you well enough to know if any of this has any impact upon your life". What she sent me was something that came to her while she was praying for me about my pain. It was a whole other subject about my childhood. She included the prayer, which was basically a healing for me and my father. I read this with tears streaming down my face. It touched me on a level so deep, so unexpected from someone who doesn't even know me....to write something so true. (Ok, for those of you who are quite astute and faster thinking than my writing....yes, it was actually from someone who not only knows me, but to most people's way of thinking, created me!). Spirit chose to use her to speak to me. And this comes at a very interesting time. I have been having nightmares about my father. I won't go into them, but basically, my father who died in 2001 comes to me in my dreams, not to comfort me....and I know he is dead, and he knows he is dead, but still there he is....it is unnerving at best! But, there was this email, with a prayer to ease this recent and past experience. Coincidence?

Next.....I have had a friend in my life for a few years now. I knew I was going to meet him prior to my actual in physical plane meeting of him. I knew that we were working out some karmic stuff. Not only him, but with his whole family. I had never met his family, nor basically him for any length of time, and I was getting all these visions,messages, and actual action plans, for him AND his family....especially his daughter and youngest son. I can't go into detail about this, because it is personal.....but why I want to mention this is....I think this is why I became so sick. I was there to help him and his family members work through a situation that was about to occur. I think, for the most part I did.....but then it got too much for me. I asked him, as well as Spirit to break the karmic connection I had with him and his family. I think it worked, but interesting to me, was that both his daughter and I (her "guides are who first came to me about this/him before I met him), ended up in the hospital with pretty serious illnesses at the same time.....Coincidence? I recently wrote him a letter explaining this. Will he understand it? I don't know. I think on some level. If by chance he reads this blog I hope he understands that everything that was done, all the coincidences in our lives....everything was Spirit connected. I know, because of the premature break, that we will do some kind of dance again...that is fine. What is really interesting to me about this too....is I think right now, even though we are now going our separate ways....both of us are finding the same path of Spiritual meaning....all my recent events, and "signs" are kind of similar to what I know he is now experiencing.......Coincidence?

I could actually go on for hours, or pages as the case may be, about this kind of Spiritual hijinx that is happening to me. A friend called me the other day, who, if there is anyone who is connected to the "other side" it is her. Even she will say that she is "way out there", but she said that we are going through a time right now, which of course I can't remember what she called it, but it is similar to the spiritual harmonics, or convergence of years past. when she was telling me this, it was like YES!!! It seemed that all these events, signs, and yes even some swift kicks had been telling me that it was time....for what?

It is time to quit looking only inward. I think it is time to know that we have to work together to heal ourselves, our planet, and others. It seems to me that more people than ever have been reaching out to me in prayer. In years past, that may have frightened me a little. But, I have been relishing in these prayers lately. They feel good. It is really about love.

I know I have mentioned many times, I think...about a little barn own named Molly. A simple little act of nature, caught on "tape" as they say, for millions to watch. What was supposed to be just a web site for family and friends went viral. Millions from all over the world started watching and chatting as she first laid her eggs, then tended to them, then the owlets hatched, and then we watched with joy, amusement, fear, and even some sadness as these little ones grew up, and flew away. But what I found really odd, I mean it, odd and strange and weird and unusual......those of us who "bonded" ( those who are a participant of the owl box experience will get the kind of pun that word implies. Bonding with barn owls is like a "quickie" to be blunt. It is not actual copulation, but kind of like a mimic of it while the female owl is sitting on the eggs, it happens at least a couple of times a night....and if, like me, you have your ear buds in.....watch out, as it gets very LOUD), but anyway......what was just kind of freaking me out....how much we all told each other we loved one another. What? We barely know each other, and we love one another? How Odd.....especially coming from a family where that word was not used.

In recent years, I have learned how to be comfortable with that word. But, it was not easy. The word "love" for most of my life was like finger nails on a chalk board. I couldn't say it, or hear it....freaked me right the heck out. I also couldn't look anyone in the eyes, that was another instant make me want to throw up action.....but, you may think I have digressed a little here, I am just saying....how easy it is to actually truly love these people. Kindred owl watchers from around the world. Here is the other thing.....I am NOT an owl lover. In fact, owls used to kind of freak me out. My parents would always talk about how the owl in the window meant death, or something like that. So, how did I get to a place, that really I would never have sought out myself?.....coincidence?

The story I started with today, the woman who sent me the prayer, we met on the owl box web site. I have also met some other people there who are changing my life. I believe, somehow, these little owls have been the harbingers of my ability to love deeply. I think one of the people I have met on this site, to whom we have become quite close, can be able to strongly attest to this. I wrote her an e-mail, and I told her something I have never told another living human being. It was weird, it just happened. It has to do with love, and my childhood, and into my current state as a person who is often sick and in pain......but really, it all goes back to love......coincidence?

At the beginning of this rather longer than I expected blog, I mentioned my tears. I said that I have been crying out some universal spiritual substance....what do you think? Should we call it LOVE?

You decide......